If - Ciel Phantomhive x Reader
by eunjungpororo
Summary: Based on If by Kim TaeYeon. Ciel Phantomhive x Reader. Kuroshitsuji belongs to Yana Toboso and Kim TaeYeon belongs to Girls' Generation and SM Entertainment.


If (Ciel x Reader)

You were a commoner who adored Earl Ciel Phantomhive so much. You had always wanted to meet him, but there was this one thing that stopped you from doing so. You wondered what it was, but you couldn't even quite think of it.

You were selling fruits on the street when you saw an ebony carriage pass by, on the rough road where people your status would usually cross. You were thinking that the passenger was Ciel, and it turns out that your hunch was correct.

_If I were to go  
If I were to get close to you  
What would you think?  
I don't have the courage._

Ciel stepped down the carriage and strolled around the street, examining every nook and cranny of the marketplace. He looked around the bustling area, casually walking around not noticing everything on his way.

You picked up an old straw basket and placed a bunch of fruits in it, your hand quivering in excitement to see and approach the young Earl. You take a step on the cold, autumn road, your boots crunching on the red bricks, your ego running towards the eye-patched boy.

Suddenly, you took a step backward.

You feel scared for some reason. But you didn't know why.

You were confident enough as soon as you grabbed your basket, but your confidence wore out once you saw him, once you almost approached him. You suddenly feel that your legs will collapse, like lead, but you ignored it anyway.

_I know I am a fool and can only__watch you__from afar  
Your heart may look away from me…  
And so we could even become__strangers__  
Just like a fool I can't even say that__I love you because__…  
_  
"Um, excuse me…"

You feel your heart racing once again. You tried to breathe properly as you approach him more, but you failed to control yourself and you shakily gaze up at him with your (e/c) orbs on his neatly fixed dark blue hair.

Ciel looked back at you, partly glaring.

"Yes?" he stared at you as your hands trembled, slightly letting go of the basket full of fruits you were holding.

"I was just wondering…um…"

As you stared right into his eye, you sensed something that you have never felt before. _No. That's not possible. He can't fall in love with me. Why would he even fall in love with some mere peasant like I am? _These thoughts normally dwell on your mind, and you couldn't stop them somehow.

"I was just wondering if you can buy some of my-"

Your moment with Ciel was cut short. A blonde-haired girl, dressed up in all pink and someone who looked like the same rank as him, excitedly ran up to him and hugged him tightly, ignoring everyone in the street who gazed at the little lady accompanying the Earl.

"Ciiiiiiieeeeeeeel!"

A high-pitched voice caught the attention of the young boy. Ciel immediately turned to the blonde-haired girl, facing away from you. "Elizabeth! What was that for?!"

You couldn't help but stare at Ciel and Elizabeth, such a couple they were. You were fascinated and proud of them, but yet, you felt another feeling drift in yourself. You wondered what that feeling was.

"I'm so sorry. I need to go."

_What would I do?  
I really don't know  
Because I'm like a fool.  
Even though I know looking is all I can do_

"Okay. See you later then, Lord Phantomhive." You muttered under your breath as you watch the Earl walk away with Elizabeth, his fiancée. That must be the reason why you were so afraid to approach him. You were scared to disappoint him once you say those three, heartbreaking words that would usually make a person happy, but in this case, if you would, you would only make him upset in the end.

You feel this sad little thorn piercing your chest, tears rolling on your cheeks as you repeatedly mumbled the words, "Goodbye…I love you…", whilst dropping on your knees on the ground. Covering your eyes with your (skin tone) hands, you continued to mutter those same words, taking pauses between sobs. It was a deep sadness you felt of not being able to talk to him, nor see him, again.


End file.
